On a Terrence McKenna binge. I didn't take him seriously in 2019 but everything I've learned since has led me back to him. He's the only public figure I know who also has loving conversations with mushrooms.
Spiritual experiences are just something you can grind. They mean nothing about knowledge of truth. Proof of knowing truth is obvious and self-evident.
i have resistance around anger. i’m afraid of it because i don’t want to make anyone feel bad, but if i just saw it as an impersonal force that wasn’t someone’s fault, removed blame from it, and trusted that i still have complete control of my actions, angry or not, and nothing compels me to hurt or lash out at anyone, i could just let go of the tension around it and let it be a strengthening force, somehow related to the fire element and transformation
i loved all david hawkins, eckhart tolle, and ram dass in 2019 and then grew away from them because i thought they weren’t serious because they weren’t part of any serious tradition. but truth is surely self-evident. this ram dass video makes more sense to me than anything else: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym4Rpd72tq8
religion is a group impulse that organizes a community into a shared spiritual culture, like michael levin’s or rupert sheldrakes morphic fields
it is just the project of a group of people for the purpose and play of that group
but everyone has to find their own projects and participate voilitionally
my project is definitely related to the history of spirituality in san francisco and bay area, from the beat movement through ram dass and psychedelics and now to whatever is emerging now
if higher beings love me they'd help me whether i worship them or not. the purpose of worship is self-alignment. most modern worship is misaligning.
schizoid / outcast affirmation for disproportionate feelings of non-belonging:
- i belong here. even if i'm different than everyone else. even if my role isn't clear. i belong here.
- consciously tune into the sense of belonging you feel at home and give gratitude for it.